sined911

Fine. I will get a job.

Not until Football season is over though, games and practices are too unpredictable. Once Lacrosse season begins I'm quitting. Winter sports offered are Basketball, Wrestling and Track. I won't do Basketball or Wrestling and I don't need a drill instructor telling me when, where and how long I need to run for.

Job hunting will begin November 29th which is when Football ends. :)

I remember when I didn't have to shave everyday :(

Is lazer hair-removal painful?

Call me paranoid but I  get a little freaked out when I smell rotting flesh before the crack of dawn on the trails of kings point park.

I don't want to leave high school.

I've had the opportunity to just leave high school behind for the last year and a half honestly. I could just take my GED test in 2 hours and then I'll be set for Nassau. My excuse has been "I want a regents diploma" but I don't really give a shit about that, what I've really been searching for this year is the true high school experience.
I've been in alternative schools since freshman year, although I've enjoyed it for the most part I miss the perks of being part of a larger student body. Blending into the crown seems like such a silly little thing to crave but it's simply impossible in a classroom of 2 students or a school of 50.
I can't help but be extremely angry with my mother for not encouraging me to join sports earlier in life. She put me in soccer when I was younger but she never cared enough to bring me to practices, just the games, so I was always the one who didn't know what he was doing. Obviously I didn't stick with it long. Like coach says, soccer is a commie sport anyway.
I see so much potential in Lacrosse. I honestly feel like my life has been leading up to me playing this fucking sport. As of now, I suck but I know I can get better. Coach said himself that I'm trying harder than any other kid on the team and I know that I've barely put in 40%. It makes me physically sick to think that this is the only year I'll be able to play. When I think about the fact that we only have a few practices and even fewer games left to play, I get a really empty feeling in my gut, an obnoxious hole right in my stomach.

I  don't know what to do. I know for a fact that I can squeeze out another year of high school but I'm not sure if that's morally right. I SHOULD move on with my life but I just don't know if I can or if it's even my time to go. I feel like I'm just getting started and I have alot to do around here.

Tonight, I walked home from seeing a movie with Ryan and playing with his friends. On my way home I picked up a stick and peeled the bark on it, after it was all nice and clean I pretended it was my wand and I kept pointing at things and hoping something would happen.
Eventually a cop crept up beside me and gave me a suspicious glance.

I'm being asked for my opinion left and right these days. One should be flatted that his opinion is worth something but mine is just not present. I've come to understand that's it's extremely socially unacceptable to not have an opinion but I don't. I'm sorry but I just don't. The reason is obvious to me but I don't feel like sharing at the moment. I'll tell you later...

So we're preparing our GSA poster today after school for the club fair when all of a sudden Ms Tunic bring in 6 feet of fucking hotness into the room. She asks him to join as the "Alpha Male" of the group. He laughs and says he's very proud of being gay but has too much on his plate already with football. This is when my heart just sank. Not only did I miss proving to myself that I can play in a team and not quit but I also missed bonding with the only other gay football player at north since ugly ass Arthur. I don't think I can forgive my mother for not acting like a responsible adult and having our shit together. She didn't even attempt to renew our medical insurance until I had 3 fucking days left until our first practice. I woke up early, got on 2 buses and bought all my football equipment with my own money then took 2 more buses back (not that it was all that difficult) but she can't make a simple phone call. I tried hard all summer to not just bum around like I did every summer but to actually train a bit for the upcoming season and she can't even pick up the fucking phone. The only reason why she did it eventually was because I nagged her enough.

I need to find this guy. I need to find him and just KNOW him. Fucking hot as hell, I can't even deal. I don't know anything about him other than the fact that he's about my height and on the fb team.

I have a really bad crush

I just had a really weird dream.
I was in the middle of my wedding marrying Bella. She was all pregers with my mutant baby that kept making faces at me from inside her tummy. After the wedding ends the thing pops out of her, we go outside and we're in the middle of a huge deserted island in the middle of nowhere. We sit on the beach and see the Loch Ness monster sitting there GLARING at us....
Bella looks at me then and says "you win my heart, you win protection"

I won't sleep anymore tonight D: